I woke up on a long noon, the dry yellow leaves outside were
somersaulting in the air, and the sun was releasing its heat with a panting
breath. In this chilly autumn wind, the earth was imprisoned, and occasional
sounds of birdsong couldn't break the silence.
I found myself getting older, losing my innocence and childishness, and
gaining maturity and sophistication. I struggled and wavered between money
and materialism, without the open-mindedness and rationality I once had.
That's when I thought of you, a boy who has everything I've lost. You made
me feel lost and confused, but also helped me realize my mistakes and turn
back from the edge. I appreciate you for coming into my life at this time,
but I also envy the qualities you possess. This complex mix of emotions has
made me realize that I've fallen for you.
You said you're afraid of growing up because it means losing your childlike
innocence and getting exhausted in the process. You said you want to be a
little stream that flows quietly and steadfastly, not as grand as a river or
as magnificent as a waterfall, but still strong and resilient in its
delicacy. You said you want to be a light spring rain that drizzles and
blurs, not as free as a heavy rain or as powerful as an autumn rain, but
still full of life and energy in its gentleness. You told me not to dwell on
the past because even beautiful poetry and paintings lose their meaning over
time, and love fades away in the passing of time, and hatred fades with the
years. You also told me to work diligently, love passionately, be honest,
and live a simple life. You understand so much, and that's why I like you.
One day, I saw you playing soccer with a five or six-year-old kid. You were
both laughing innocently and having fun, and the scene was beautiful. I
don't like to look in the mirror because I don't want to see my distorted
face and unnatural smile. You may never grow up, and that's why I like you.
Youth passes like a white horse crossing a crevice. When we look back on it,
we can't help but lament and regret the fleeting time. I woke up in a daze,
regretting the wasted days. I envy your integrity and carefreeness, and
that's why I like you.
I like you because I am you. |