As I gaze upon the cherry blossom tree that my grandfather
planted for me in the courtyard, admiring the delicate pink flowers on its
branches and inhaling the sweet scent of the blossoms, my mind wanders with
the petals drifting away in the wind.
I recall the blooming flowers that I missed.
"Hurry up, hurry up, faster!" I urged myself, sweating profusely. It was my
grandfather's birthday banquet, and I couldn't be late. Last time, I
couldn't attend the banquet because I was away, and though my grandfather
didn't say anything, I could see the disappointment in his eyes. As his only
grandson, which elderly person wouldn't want to have their descendants
around in their old age? I rarely visited my grandfather, and if I didn't
show up at the banquet, he would be alone. I couldn't bear to think about it
and hastened my pace. I ran non-stop for an hour and a half, gasping for
air, and rushed into the restaurant's entrance. But I saw only chaos, with
guests dispersing after the birthday boy had left. I looked around and saw
my grandfather, hunched over with a thin figure and a forlorn shadow, in the
midst of the crowd. "Grandfather," I uttered with a trembling voice, my eyes
fixed on him. "I'm sorry."
Time was in disarray, and in my fragmented memories, like cherry blossoms
flying everywhere, I reached out to pick up the crimson pieces.
I also recall the falling flowers that I missed.
My grandfather was seriously ill. I realized the severity of his condition
as I watched the return date get pushed up earlier and earlier. On the plane
back home, I stared out the small window into the starless, ink-black night
sky illuminated by the moon, and my mind felt as though it were obstructed
by dark clouds. My thoughts were blocked, my eyes bewildered and anxious,
and my heart was in pain like it was being pressed down by infinite space.
During the long journey, I remembered my grandfather's solid back and warm
hands when I was a child, and my guilt and heartache over distancing myself
from him when I grew up. I returned home and pushed open the door, only to
see a black-and-white photo of my grandfather in a black frame. A buzzing
sound, and I froze, then suddenly understood everything. The guilt, sadness,
and longing flooded my heart, and tears streamed down my face
uncontrollably.
"Grandfather, I'm sorry."
Through my tear-blurred eyes, I faintly saw my grandfather's weathered face
among the cherry blossoms. |