During this summer break, I spent a few short days
completing my assignments, followed by two weeks of remedial classes, and
then two weeks of indulging myself.
I unconsciously developed a habit of staying up late and sleeping in during
the day. I would lie in bed all day, unwilling to get up, but at 2:30 pm
every afternoon, I would log on to the internet and chat with some familiar
strangers, having a great time. At night, I would sit in front of the TV,
listening to people saying things like "Why did you leave me? I hate you!"
and then burst into laughter, laughing so hard that tears streamed down my
face. This behavior finally woke up my parents, who scolded me harshly,
calling me "crazy." Then I would obediently roll back into bed, and the day
wasn't over yet. I would put on my headphones, play rock tapes on my
Walkman, and shake my head to the crazy music until 2 am. Then, I would open
a book and read some sad words that I already knew by heart until tears
blurred my vision, and I couldn't help sobbing.
I knew that when this summer break ended, I would go back to being my quiet
self, and no one would know that I had done such crazy things.
One time, while I was on the internet, a stranger sent me a message: "School
is starting soon, enjoy yourself, have a blast! But don't let the people who
love you see you suffer." I replied, "I just want to leave a little
happiness before the pain." Then I ran to the mirror and saw myself looking
disheveled, with short hair sticking up, swollen eyes, and a pale face like
a ghost. I was scared by my own appearance, so I sat down on the ground and
started crying.
I wondered if I had truly found happiness during this summer, maybe I had!
But why was I so afraid to face myself? I packed my bag, said goodbye to my
sleeping parents, and went to school. The first day of school left me
feeling lost but also fulfilled.
I began to doubt whether those two weeks of self-indulgence had really
happened. Now that school had started, my life was back to normal. I woke up
at 6 am, packed my bag, said goodbye to my sleeping parents, and went to
school. The first day of school left me feeling lost but also fulfilled.
I began to wonder if those two weeks of self-indulgence had truly existed. |