When I was a child, I had many dreams and fantasies. I would
gaze up at the sky and imagine myself as a pilot, marvel at science and
envision myself as a scientist, and dream of becoming a food connoisseur
after tasting delicious meals. My dreams were numerous and I was unsure of
which one to pursue. I would ask my dad for advice, but he would simply tell
me that I was still young and would figure it out as I grew older.
As a child, I was honest, naive, and beloved by others. I was very
mischievous, climbing trees one minute and playing with puppies the next. My
parents were very worried about me, but I would tell them that I was a
superhero and nothing bad could happen to me.
I was also rebellious as a child. My stubbornness led others to believe that
I was maturing quickly. I resisted any plans my parents made for me because
I thought I was unique and didn't need to follow their path. My parents
would sigh and say that I was still young and would understand as I grew
older.
As a child, I longed for freedom. Through television, newspapers, and
conversations with relatives, I learned how big the world was with its
different regions, ethnicities, customs, and unique scenery. I wanted to see
it all. I once snuck out of the house, but only went a few hundred meters
away before feeling homesick, lonely, and helpless. I returned home and
remained silent. I thought I had grown up and become sensible, but I didn't
realize that it was just my own perception.
Now that I am grown up, I have forgotten my childhood dreams and fantasies.
They have been crushed by reality. My honesty and stubbornness have been
worn down by society. The longing for freedom has been tightly bound by
reality, suffocating me. I have forgotten what it means to be free.
In this competitive society, where connections are crucial, I don't feel
proud or envious of anyone. I don't feel motivated or stressed by my
studies. I feel the same as always.
I am calm. The years have smoothed my edges, destroyed my dreams, and made
me forget the part of me that longed for freedom. I have changed and can't
resist fate. I have no choice but to follow the path that destiny has
arranged for me.
As we grow up, we lose so much. One of the things we lose is the time our
parents spent raising us. |