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A Tale of Bedtime Conflicts and Parental Resolve |
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Conflicts between parents and children at bedtime are a common occurrence.
For adults, sleep is a cherished respite, while for children, it is seen as
time lost—precious moments that could be spent playing video games or
finishing a drawing of their favorite cartoon hero. As a result, children
often resist the notion of going to bed. In households where both parents
work, the nightly routine of putting children to sleep can become even more
challenging. Many parents return home late in the evening, leaving little
time for bathing, dinner, homework, and bedtime. Despite these challenges,
children need sufficient sleep, with young students and toddlers requiring
anywhere from ten to twelve hours of rest each night.
But what happens when children resist at every step—whether it’s during
their bath, putting on pajamas, or entering their bedroom? When they refuse
to sleep alone, wake up frequently, or demand an hour of soothing before
drifting off? Recognizing the signs of sleep deprivation in a child is
usually straightforward. "He may become irritable, whiny, and increasingly
clumsy," notes the respected pediatrician, Dr. Leigh Shapleigh. "Moreover,
any existing behavioral issues a child may have are only worsened by a lack
of sleep."
Children—especially the younger ones—thrive on routine, which is why a
consistent bedtime benefits not only the child but the entire family.
Determining the right time for a child to go to bed, according to Shapleigh,
should rest with the parents. "The key is to decide what you want. Whether
it's 7:30, 8:30, or 9:30, that choice will shape the course of your
evening."
However, many parents, despite their best efforts, end up creating bedtime
routines that lead to prolonged, exhausting nights. They find themselves
trapped in a cycle they unintentionally set in motion, where their children
rely on them to fall asleep. Parents soothe their little ones with songs,
rocking, and back rubs, only to see them wake the moment they attempt to
leave the room. Quality time fades away, tensions rise, and bedtime becomes
a nightly battleground.
For weary parents seeking a way out, Shapleigh offers a tried-and-true
approach used by countless families: "You must let them cry. Be there to
comfort them. Leave a soft light on, but remain consistent. Children
understand your actions more than your words." Dr. Richard Ferber, a
renowned pediatrician in the field of children's sleep, advises that most
bedtime conflicts are not as dire as they seem and can be resolved with
patience.
Parents who choose to endure their child’s erratic sleep habits may find
that these behaviors fade over time, but it could take months or even years.
Instead of waiting, Ferber recommends parents take proactive steps. After
establishing a calming bedtime routine, children should be put to bed and
left there, even if they cry, with parents checking on them periodically.
"There is no solution to this problem without allowing for some crying, but
the length of time can be minimized," he explains. Parents often express
their exhaustion, but forget that their children, who have yet to learn how
to articulate their fatigue, are equally tired. "It is in your child's best
interest to get uninterrupted sleep," Ferber asserts. He reminds parents
that, like adults, children need sleep to restore their bodies and minds,
and without it, neither can function well during the day.
In conclusion, bedtime conflicts are a natural part of parenting. While
adults seek comfort in sleep, children often resist it, seeing it as an
interruption to their fun. In households where both parents work, the
challenge is even greater. Nonetheless, it is essential to ensure that
children get enough sleep for their health and well-being. By establishing a
consistent bedtime routine, parents can foster peace at night, and though
some crying may be involved, maintaining consistency will eventually lead to
better sleep for everyone. Prioritizing children's rest is essential for
their health and development. |
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