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The Neighbor I Dislike the Most

 

The person I dislike most is Sunny Soo, my next-door neighbor. He is in his late thirties and has three teenage children. One would think that fatherhood might have mellowed him, but Sunny is, without doubt, the most unpleasant man I’ve ever met.

To start with, Sunny is not a sight for sore eyes. Standing at barely 1.5 meters tall, he is all skin and bones. His complexion is dark and riddled with pimples, while his steel-colored wispy hair clings stubbornly to his scalp. A pair of cold, brown eyes sit above a broad nose and jagged, protruding teeth that make him look perpetually annoyed—or annoying.

But his appearance isn’t even the worst part. It’s his behavior that makes him truly unbearable. Sunny talks at lightning speed, and unfortunately, his saliva travels just as fast. Speaking with him is like standing in front of a water sprinkler—you’ll need tissues, or better still, a mini umbrella. And to make things worse, he peppers his speech with crude four-letter words, offending anyone with even a hint of refinement. I’ve seen more than a few polite ladies walk away from him in horror.

Sunny also has the loudest mouth in town. Once, my friend Ganesh and I went to the cinema, only to find Sunny seated right behind us. Throughout the movie, he gave a running commentary loud enough for the entire cinema hall to hear. We couldn’t take it and had to move to the front row. We left the cinema dizzy—not from the movie, but from his nonstop chatter.

Another of Sunny’s infamous traits is his kiasu nature—the obsessive fear of losing out. I remember a sale in town when Sunny actually camped outside a shopping mall the entire night just to be first in line. Imagine a grown man spending the night in front of a store just to grab a few bargains.

His obsession with saving money is equally ridiculous. To Sunny, fifty cents is as precious as fifty dollars. Once, my mother saw him walking all the way from our apartment to town under the scorching sun—just to avoid paying a \$1.00 parking fee. His face was drenched in sweat and his wispy hair was plastered to his forehead. Mum laughed so hard she almost rear-ended the car in front of her.

Worse still is his arrogant attitude toward those younger than him. Once, I accidentally left the television volume a little too high. He marched over to my unit, kicked my door, and demanded that I switch it off. If my father hadn’t held me back, I swear I would’ve given him a piece of my mind—and maybe a black eye.

Now that you know what Sunny Soo is like, perhaps you’ll understand why I find him so intolerable. The strangest thing, though, is his wife. She is kind, soft-spoken, and gracious—everything Sunny is not. How someone like her ended up marrying him is a mystery I doubt I’ll ever solve.

 
 
 
 

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